Unveiling the Human Side of Leadership: Creating Spaces for Authentic Connection and Support
I have had the privilege of sitting with numerous leaders while engaging in conversations about learning, growth, and development for their teams. These discussions were often centered around strategies, methodologies, and best practices, aiming to enhance the capabilities of their staff members. However, I have recently noticed a pattern emerging. In these conversations, there came a point where focusing on the team was set aside to explore the immediate needs of the leader sitting across the table from me.
These leaders who by society's definition were supposed to exude confidence and composure, began to reveal the struggles they were experiencing beneath the surface. They shared feelings of overwhelm, frustration, and unhappiness, and in some cases, tears flowed freely. This response was initially unexpected for me, however, when I lingered for just a moment, I connected on a deeper level of what exactly was happening.
By showing up authentically, with empathy, and connecting with leaders, I created a safe space for them. In striving to understand their challenges and aspirations, I had cultivated an environment where they felt comfortable enough to let down their guard.
As I think of these leaders and my own experiences, I am reminded of the importance of leaders having spaces such as these. Leaders are often burdened with immense pressure and expected to navigate complex challenges with, "unwavering strength." Yet, beneath the facade of authority, there is a human being, susceptible to doubt, fear, and uncertainty. By creating spaces for open dialogue, genuine empathy, and exploration of strategies to untangle what feels overwhelming to them, we can alleviate the isolation that leaders often feel.
This not only connects with my work as an Executive Coach; it also resonates deeply with my professional and personal experiences. Like many others, I have navigated through challenging seasons that did not seem to end, and I have grappled with doubts and insecurities. I struggled when the way I was leading (or being asked to lead) was not in alignment with my values and how to reconcile this disconnect. I was not experiencing the joy I wanted professionally or personally. And in those moments, it wasn't my individual strength that pulled me through—it was the support and guidance of those who stood by my side. Specifically, I had coaches (who were not my boss) provide me with perspective and insight that on my own, I could not see because of how deeply entrenched I was in the everyday happenings. They helped me regain clarity on my purpose and my values, and remember the type of leader I wanted to be. They helped me assess the parts of my job that interfered with meeting my goals and make the necessary adjustments to get me there.
This myth of the solitary leader, stoically facing every obstacle, must be dispelled. Leadership is not a solitary journey but a collective endeavor—a journey where we must lean on each other in times of need and celebration.
My passion as an Executive Coach is to walk with and develop leaders as they embrace challenges and remind them of the power of human connection. To create a space where they can put down their guard and talk openly about the challenges of their work that keep them up at night. The areas in their work where they are struggling to gain traction. And for them to know that the person sitting with them has been there before and won’t leave them in the trenches. Instead, I will equip them with tools and strategies to grapple with the challenges and overcome them.
Leadership is not just about imparting knowledge or honing skills; it is also about fostering relationships, connecting through empathy, reigniting your passion, building trust, and creating spaces where authenticity can thrive. It is not about standing alone at the top but about standing together, hand in hand, supporting each other every step of the way.