From Individual Contributor to Influential Leader: 5 Skills No One Teaches You
I remember the moment it hit me.
After years of being a strong teacher and team member, I had stepped into a formal leadership role. I had even returned to school to earn a degree in Education Leadership, so I thought I was ready. I was organized, prepared, and deeply committed to doing excellent work.
But as I lived in this new role day after day, I realized that what had made me successful before, focusing on my own tasks, executing flawlessly, and staying in my lane, wasn’t enough.
I was no longer responsible for only what I got done. I was now responsible for how people felt doing their work and helping them grow in their skills and abilities. I needed to make space for others’ voices, navigate tough conversations, lead through uncertainty, and move a group toward a shared vision.
It was disorienting. I kept wondering, “Why didn’t anyone teach me this part?”
In that season, I realized that leadership isn’t just a promotion; it’s a paradigm shift. And while degrees and titles can open doors, they don’t automatically equip you for the complex, relational, often invisible work of leading people well.
If you’ve felt that same tension, knowing you’re capable, but unsure how to lead in a way that’s impactful, authentic, and sustainable, this is for you.
Here are five essential leadership skills that no one really teaches us but every influential leader needs to develop:
1. Leading Through Influence, Not Control
When I was an individual contributor, I found success by staying focused and doing the work. I was dependable and delivered results. But once I stepped into leadership, I realized the goal had shifted. It wasn’t just about what I could get done anymore; it was about how I could support, guide, and bring out the best in others. Leading well means learning to let go of control, get clear on vision, and build the kind of trust that makes people feel safe enough to grow. It meant creating the kind of environment where people actually want to show up and thrive.
Try this: Instead of jumping in with answers, ask guiding questions that help your team think critically and take ownership.
2. Navigating the Gray
Leadership is rarely black and white. More often, it’s navigating the gray, trying to make the best decision when there isn’t one clear “right” answer. You’re constantly weighing competing priorities: what individuals need versus what’s best for the team, holding to your values while also moving the work forward, and showing empathy without losing accountability. It’s a balancing act that requires deep reflection, clarity, and a whole lot of grace.
Try this: Build your endurance for ambiguity by identifying the values that anchor your decisions. When the path isn’t clear, your values will be your compass.
3. Giving Feedback That Actually Builds People Up
Giving feedback, especially the hard kind, is something many of us avoid. We worry about how it will be received or if it might damage the relationship. I’ve been there. But I’ve also learned that when feedback is offered with honesty, care, and clarity, it can be one of the most powerful ways we support someone’s growth. It’s not about being critical, but it’s about helping people see what’s possible and guiding them toward it. Feedback, done well, is a gift.
Try this: Use the SBI model (Situation-Behavior-Impact) to make feedback specific, objective, and growth-oriented.
4. Thinking Strategically, Not Just Tactically
As a leader, you can’t just keep your head down and focus on what’s right in front of you. You have to lift your eyes and pay attention to the bigger picture. Strategic thinking means connecting the day-to-day work to the larger goals. It’s about slowing down, anticipating what might get in the way, and making thoughtful decisions that keep the long-term vision in mind. It is not about having all the answers but rather being intentional with your time, your energy, and your focus.
Try this: Start meetings with a simple prompt: “How does this move us closer to our mission or vision?” Train your brain (and your team) to think beyond the to-do list.
5. Reclaiming Your Leadership Identity
So many of us walk into leadership trying to fit into a mold, often one that was never designed with us in mind. I’ve learned that the real impact comes when you lead from a place of authenticity. It’s not about being who you think you should be. It’s about knowing who you are, owning your voice, and leading from that place with confidence and clarity.
Try this: Reflect on this question: “What kind of leader do I want to be known as?” Let your answer shape your daily choices.
Ready to Lead with Clarity, Confidence, and Impact?
If any of these skills resonated with you and if you’re hungry to grow in your leadership, then I want to personally invite you to schedule your free 1-1 consultation now by sending me an email at paya@peakleaderscollective.com.
You’re not meant to lead alone. And you don’t have to figure it all out on your own, either.
Let’s lead together.
