Balancing Empathy with Performance Expectations: Lessons for Emerging Leaders
As workplaces evolve, so do expectations around leadership. One of the most significant shifts in recent years has been the emphasis on empathetic leadership. This type of leadership is when leaders must prioritize their employees’ well-being and help them achieve their performance goals. Emerging leaders must drive results and create environments where their team members feel heard, valued, and supported. Balancing empathy with performance expectations can be challenging, and it’s an area I struggled with initially as I worked to find the right balance for my team.
The Growing Need for Empathetic Leadership
Today’s leaders recognize that team members are people first. Empathy has become a core component of effective leadership with the increasing mental health challenges brought on by world events, uncertainty, and personal hardships. Research also supports this shift—empathy in leadership links to higher retention, more robust engagement, and better performance. When team members feel understood and supported, they’re more likely to bring their best selves to their work.
However, many new leaders need help to walk the line between showing empathy and maintaining high performance. There were times early in my leadership journey when I leaned too heavily into empathy, sometimes at the cost of team productivity. I was eager to support their needs and found it challenging to uphold performance standards and accountability, afraid it would diminish the supportive environment I was trying to build. It took time and experience to understand that empathy and performance expectations aren’t mutually exclusive—they can and should coexist.
As I learned to balance empathy with performance expectations, here are some helpful strategies.
Set Clear, Mutual Expectations
Clear and open communication is one of the most effective ways to balance empathy with performance. In my early days as a leader, I realized that team members appreciated knowing their roles' expectations and how they would be evaluated. Openly discussing goals and expectations allows team members to feel secure in their roles while giving them room to speak up if they face personal challenges. Having these honest conversations helped me make more informed, compassionate decisions that still aligned with our goals.
Build Trust Through Active Listening
Empathy starts with listening, but it doesn’t end there. Building a foundation of trust with your team members helps create a culture where they feel safe sharing obstacles and challenges without fear of repercussions. This meant developing my active listening skills and following through on what I heard. By responding to team members’ concerns, whether with adjustments to deadlines or connecting them to helpful resources—I could show empathy in action rather than just words.
Encourage Resilience and Accountability
Empathetic leadership doesn’t mean avoiding difficult conversations. One of the most compassionate things a leader can do is to help team members build resilience and hold themselves accountable. Early on, I hesitated to address performance issues, thinking it would come across as unsupportive. However, I soon learned that respectful, constructive feedback is critical to help team members grow. It’s possible to address performance while showing you care about their well-being—by offering guidance, encouragement, and clear steps for improvement.
Model Self-Care and Boundaries
Leaders who prioritize their own mental health and work-life balance show their teams that it’s possible to meet goals without compromising well-being. Empathetic leadership requires leaders to model self-care and set boundaries. At times, I found myself giving so much to support my team that I neglected my needs, ultimately leaving me less effective as a leader. Setting boundaries, taking breaks, and managing my workload helped me show up more fully for my team while setting an example they could follow.
Foster a Growth-Oriented Culture
Creating a team culture that values growth as much as it does results is essential for balancing empathy and performance. For instance, instead of framing setbacks as failures, I learned to view them as learning opportunities. When team members understand that challenges are part of growth, they feel less pressure to be perfect and more motivated to contribute meaningfully. This approach allows leaders to support team development while staying focused on achieving results.
Adjust and Adapt
Each approach will only work for some situations, and finding the right balance requires continuous adjustment. Leading with empathy while maintaining standards is not a “one-size-fits-all” process; it requires flexibility, feedback, and a willingness to adapt. As I grew in my role, I learned to assess what each team member needed—extra support or a reminder of performance goals—and adjusted accordingly.
Balancing empathy with performance expectations is possible and essential for creating a sustainable and successful team culture. Leaders who are empathetic and committed to high standards set a tone of mutual respect, accountability, and growth. This approach leads to more engaged, resilient, and equipped teams to handle challenges. Ultimately, it’s about creating a work environment where team members feel supported in bringing their whole selves to work, knowing they are valued for who they are and what they contribute.
When emerging leaders grow their empathy skills to create workplaces prioritizing well-being and excellence, it leads to resilience, trust, and long-term success. Finding this balance can take time, but the journey is worth it for the impact it builds.
What is one step you can take today to balance empathy and expectations in your team?
